


Mrs. Chilton

by KristinStone



Category: Hannibal (TV), Hannibal Lecter Series - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Chilton Being an Asshole, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Post-Episode: s02e07 Yakimono, Pregnancy, mean Chilton
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-11
Updated: 2015-01-18
Packaged: 2018-03-07 05:16:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3162620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KristinStone/pseuds/KristinStone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After being shot in the face by the manipulated Miriam Lass, Chilton returns home but he's no longer the man he used to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hospital

**Author's Note:**

> an ocean of thanks to my beta for helping me with my debut and always being there for me.

Her heart was racing as she hurried down the long, empty hallway. She dragged her young son with her, searching for someone to tell her what had happened. Occupied, overworked nurses couldn't help her and sent her further down the endless floor.

She found some men standing at the end of the hallway who didn't look like medical personnel. Maybe they could help her. As she came closer she recognised the police badges on their belts.

"I'm sorry, could you help me? I was told my husband had an accident."

A beefy man with dark eyes turned to her and eyed her and her son from head to toe.

"And you are?"

"My name is Vivian Chilton. I'm searching for my husband, Dr. Frederick Chilton."

The three men looked at her like she had just confessed the assassination of JFK.

"Mommy, where's Daddy?", her little boy asked, tugged at her sleeve and looked up at her with his big green eyes.

"I don't know yet, Darling. We'll go to see him soon."

"You are Mrs. Chilton?", one of the police officers asked and sounded completely incredulous.

"Yes. If you can't help me I'll find someone else."

She was just turning around to search for a nurse when the tall man spoke again.

"He's still in surgery. We're waiting for him as well." He held out his huge hand. "My name is Agent Jack Crawford. I work with your husband."

"I know who you are. Frederick has told me about you and your unstable walking threat you brought into his hospital. Although he doesn't see it, I know that you take advantage of him and Mr. Graham. You're not able to find this murderer and now my husband is in surgery!"

She wanted to say more. A whole lot of things more but not in front of her son and she still didn't know what had happened to her Frederick.  
Alarmed by her yelling at the FBI Agent, a nurse hurried to them and asked what the matter was.

"I'm Mrs. Chilton and I would like to know what's happened to my husband", she repeated, irritated and desperate for an answer.

"Would you please come with me. Dr. Abrams will tell you all you want to know."

She was at the brink of tears when she followed the nurse into an empty waiting room. Her son crawled onto her lap and snuggled into his mother's chest. She could hear whispers from the hall and listened for anything concerning her husband.

"Did you know he was married?"

"No, I thought he was gay."

"And he has a son. Never took him for a family person", the first one said and huffed.

"Mommy, when can we go to Daddy?"

The little boy on her lap fiddled with her necklace. She kissed his dark brown hair and told him: "Soon, Freddy, we'll go to Daddy soon."

A few minutes and more talk from the hallway later, a doctor in scrubs entered the waiting room.

"Mrs. Chilton, my name is Dr. Abrams. I'm your husband's surgeon."

"How is he?"

"He lives. That's the most important thing. The bullet penetrated his cheek 2 inches under his left eye. His teeth were damaged on the bullet's way through his head."

She tried not to cry. Holding onto the fact that Frederick was still alive.

"Apart from the scars on his cheek and the back of his neck and reconstructing dental surgery, he will not suffer any significant permanent damage."

Vivian almost cried from relief. After what Abel Gideon did to Frederick almost two years ago, she was hyperalert when it came to him. Almost loosing him once was enough. Almost loosing him twice was nerve-wracking. She couldn't show it. Not in front of her son.

"When can we see him?", she asked holding her son to her.

"He will be at ICU in a couple of minutes but he's still sedated from surgery. The police wants to talk to him, too."

"I don't care what they want. They are the reason he's even here. I don't want them to come close to my husband."

She would do everything she could to keep them away from him. They had no business with him any longer. She would talk to Frederick once again. He didn't have to prove himself to them whenever the opportunity presented itself. They destroyed him. She loved him too much to let this happen.

Dr. Abrams lead her to a white room with a beeping heart monitor and a bed in the middle.

"I'll let you alone with him but try not to vex him. He needs rest. You can stay for a few minutes but then I would like you to leave."

"Of course", she muttered and thanked him. She held her son by his tiny hand and approached the bed her husband was lying in.


	2. But I'm your wife

He was pale and the left side of his face was covered with a thick bandage. His hair lay flat and was a complete mess. His chest rose and fell in a slow but steady rhythm. He was in fact alive and just sleeping. Tears burned in her eyes as she saw him like that. It brought back the memories of him lying in the hospital for weeks and recovering after the Abel Gideon incident. She couldn't believe it happened a second time.

"Daddy?"

She lifted her son onto the edge of the bed so he could sit next to the unconscious form of his father. He grabbed Frederick's cold hand, trying to wake him up.

"Freddy don't. Daddy is tired. Let him sleep."

"Why does he have that on his face?" He pointed at the bandage on Frederick's face and looked at his mother for an answer.

She tried to pull herself together and explained with a steady voice: "Daddy is injured and needs much sleep to get well again. When you feel bad, you feel better when you've slept a bit, too, right?"

Freddy nodded and kissed his father's uninjured cheek. Vivian forced herself to smile and tried not to cry though her eyes burned with hot tears.

"Mrs. Chilton, I'm afraid you need to go now", said Dr. Abrams and waited until she had told her unconscious husband that she would come again tomorrow and had kissed him on the forehead.

She drove home, put Freddy to sleep and called her sister Eve.

"Frederick has been attacked again", Vivian cried quietly into the phone and slumped into the cushions of her couch.

"Oh my god, how is he?"

"He is alive. He wasn't awake but I want to visit him tomorrow and I wanted to ask you if you could watch over Freddy."

"Of course. I can also come over now if you want to."

She sighed deeply and closed her eyes.

"Yes, please. I don't want to be alone right now. Freddy is sleeping but I don't want him to see me cry and at the moment I really feel like crying."

Her voice cracked. Vivian held the phone away from her for a second. Eve most certainly knew exactly how she felt but Vivian didn't want to sob into the phone.

"I'm coming over right now. Promise, Vivy."

"Thanks", she whispered and hung up.

30 minutes later Eve stood in front of the door and hugged her big sister like she was the older one.

"I'm here, Vivy", she said calmly, stroking Vivian's hair.

"I was so scared when the hospital called me. It was just like the last time all over again."

"You should get some rest. I'll bring Freddy to Preschool tomorrow and you can sleep as long as you want. And then you can drive to the hospital. I'll take care of Freddy tomorrow."

There were no words to express how thankful Vivian was right now. She hugged her once more and went to bed.

The next morning she was woken up by the sound of the front door being shut and could hear a car driving off shortly after. Eve was bringing Freddy to Preschool. Hopefully that would distract him a bit. She drove to the hospital and hoped Frederick would be awake now. She entered the room and smiled. Frederick was sitting in his bed and watched her as she came closer. Vivian was too happy to see him awake to notice the way he looked at her. There was no sign of happiness in his face or at least on the side that wasn't covered in bandages.

"I'm so happy you're still alive", she breathed with tears in her eyes and wanted to hug Frederick but he pushed her away.

"What are you doing here?"

Vivian was flustered.

"What?"

"You heard me. Go away." This had to be a bad joke, she thought.

"Frederick, I don't understand", she whispered and sat down next to him. She wanted to touch his hand, squeeze it, assure him that she was there for him but he slapped her hand away.

"Go away! Leave me the fuck alone!"

"Frederick", she breathed incredulously.

"Nurse! Nurse! Get this woman out of here", he screamed and Vivian couldn't believe her ears.

"But I'm your wife."

"Fuck off."

Behind her, a nurse entered the room and friendly asked her to leave.Vivian felt numb. This wasn't the Frederick she married six years ago. The one she had a family with.

"Please, Miss, I think you should come again some other time."

"No! I don't want her to come again. No visitors, except the FBI!", he commanded and Vivian shook her head as the nurse accompanied her outside Frederick's room.

"I think it'd be best if you leave now. He will be discharged in two weeks. I'm sure he will be okay by then. Your husband has gone through a lot."

"I think I know my husband better than you do." She sounded more irritated than she wanted to. Vivian apologised and drove home where Eve was preparing lunch and wanted to know how Frederick was.

"He sent me away", she sighed and sat down at the table.

"What?"

"I couldn't believe it too at first but he did it. He sent me away." Eve heard the crack in her sisters voice and hugged her tightly. "He'll come back to his senses, Vivy. At least when he's out of hospital and home again."

"I'm not so sure about that."


	3. Family reunion

"So, he comes home today?"

Vivian nodded and looked at her watch. He should be home soon. She had asked in the hospital when exactly he would be discharged today: At 12 o'clock. The only thing she wasn't sure about now was if he would in fact come home to her and their son.

"I think I should leave you then. I don't want to disturb the happy family reunion."

"Happy being questionly of course", Vivian murmured, "Thanks for being there for Freddy and me, Eve."

"No problem. You're my sister and there's no sweeter little boy than Freddy. Also we're a family." She hugged her big sister and said her goodbyes to Freddy who really enjoyed having his funny Auntie Eve around while his father wasn't there.

One hour later a taxi halted in front of the house and Freddy ran outside to welcome his daddy before Vivian could stop him. Frederick payed the driver and ignored Freddy as he hugged him as tightly as a 5-year-old could. Frederick got his bag from the back seat of the taxi and simply shoved his happily smiling, bouncing son aside. Vivian couldn't believe her eyes as she saw her little heart-broken son looking down on the ground as Frederick passed him without even looking at him.

"I want you to leave my house", said Frederick as he entered. Vivian glared at him. How could he be so cold-hearted?

"You go back to your son and hug him right now, Frederick. He didn't see you in two weeks and you ignore him just like that?", she hissed and waited for a reaction, any reaction, but he just looked at her. Half his face was still covered with bandages.

"I want you to leave my house", he repeated without any emotion in his voice.

"This isn't just your house, Frederick. That's our home. Just in case you've forgotten. We are a family."

It didn't seem to interest him at all. He walked past her and climbed the stairs to shut himself away inside his study. At least he doesn't need that god forsaken cane any longer, she thought grimly and called for Freddy to come back inside. She would never leave this house. It was Freddy's home and the boy was too young to understand any of this.

 

* * *

  

"Is Daddy mad at me?"

His little voice cut her ears like razors. Freddy sat at the counter in the kitchen while Vivian prepared lunch. She stopped for a second and turned around to him. She wiped her hands on her cooking apron and cocked her head to the side.

"Why should he be mad at you? What did you do?" She tried to sound as neutral as possible as she leaned over the counter, bringing her face closer to his. Freddy looked down to his little fingers fiddling with the piece of apple she gave him a moment ago.

The little boy sighed deeper than a boy his age ever should and looked at his mother. "Because I smashed the glass."

She raised her eyebrows. It took her a moment to remember. One week before Frederick told her to visit her mother in Maine, only a couple of days before he got shot, Freddy was playing with his toy dinosaurs on the dining table and accidentally knocked over a glass. She sighed and walked around the counter.

"No, he's not mad at you for smashing the glass. You didn't do it on purpose." She hugged him tightly. "He's not mad at you, not at all."

"Do you want to help me making the salad for lunch?", she asked a few minutes later. He nodded and his eyes began to shine again. Freddy liked cooking and helping his mother. He was always very careful with the knives just as his mother told him. Vivian let him cut the cucumber and pepper into cubes and he loved mix it with the dressing. Vivian was relieved that he was happy again. He was so easily to distract, just wonderful.

When lunch was ready and the table laid she sent Freddy to call his father. A few minutes later he returned … alone.

"Where's Daddy?"

Freddy said nothing. All the lightness and happiness he felt only a few minutes ago was gone. He just sat down at the table and looked sad.

"Isn't he coming down for lunch?" Freddy just shook his head. He hadn't seen his father for two long weeks, asking for Frederick every single day before bedtime and now he shut himself away in his study. No, Sir, not with her! Vivian's heart broke when she saw her son being so upset. Frederick wouldn't hurt him like that.

"Wait a moment, darling. I'll go get Daddy." She stormed up the stairs and knocked on the door, well it was more hammering on the door. Without waiting for his permission, she entered.

"Lunch is ready and I want you to come down to eat with us, Frederick"

He didn't even bother to look up from the screen of his laptop.

"I'm not hungry. And I don't want any of you two pestering me again", he spit, "I will not eat with you or your son ever again."

"My son? As far as I remember he's yours too." Her rage was boiling right under the surface. She crossed her arms in front of her chest and glared at him angrily. Never in her whole life was she so angry. Vivian never thought she could be so mad at Frederick but she was. Her heart was ponding in her chest like she just ran a marathon. "And whatever you're trying to do here. It won't work. You won't freeze us out. We are a family and we'll stay one!"

"This is my house and I won't listen to you any longer. Get out of my study. I have work to do and you're annoying me." He didn't even raise his voice while she was shaking with anger. What happened to the man that loved his son so much that he thought about building him a tree house in the yard only a month ago?

She collected all the self-control she had left inside her body and said in a low voice: »No matter how many times you push me away, I will stay. I'm your wife and I love you even though you're acting like a giant asshole right now. I hope somewhere deep inside you're ashamed of yourself for how you're behaving towards Freddy and me."

And with that she turned around and left him alone. Freddy still sat at the table and shot her a questioning look.

"He's not hungry. But that means that there is more for the two of us." She smiled at him, trying really hard not to show how hurt she was.


	4. What's wrong

When she was putting Freddy to bed that night, she could hear the door of Frederick's study being opened. It was the first time today that he had left his room.

"Mommy, can you stay here tonight?", he asked with his little voice and looked over to his door. Was he afraid of his father? Numbness crawled up her spine and a lump was forming in her throat.

"Of course. Let me just change real quick and I'll be right back."

Vivian left the door ajar as she went to her bedroom and changed into her pyjamas. Only then the knot that was trying to choke her disappeared from her throat and she could breathe normally again. She peeked into Freddy's room to see whether he was still awake and found him sleeping. This was her opportunity to talk to her husband without having to fear that Freddy could hear them. She had to talk to Frederick again. Vivian needed to know why her husband behaved the way he did.

She sneaked down the stairs and into the kitchen where she heard him rehashing the leftovers from lunch. She didn't bother preparing dinner for him as he had been very clearly telling her that he would never be eating with them again.

Frederick leaned against the kitchen isle watching his plate rotate inside the buzzing microwave. His back was turned towards her so he didn't see her come in.

"What's wrong, Frederick?"

He turned and glanced at her silently.

"Why are you not talking to me? Why didn't you want to see me or Freddy in hospital?"

"I want a divorce", he said after a while looking away again.

"I want an answer."

"I don't need to answer you. You're not my mother."

The microwave beeped and he placed the steaming hot plate on the counter next to it. He was just about to take the first bite when Vivian snapped his fork and threw it into the sink.

"No, I'm not your mother! I'm your wife and mother of your son! I demand an answer."  
"Or what?", he spat out and glared at her.

"Or nothing. I have nothing to threaten you with that wouldn't hurt me or Freddy at least the same."

Tears started to burn in her eyes. She swallowed hard and felt a slight feeling of nausea coming up. This was starting to feel way too familiar today.

"I don't want to lose you, Frederick. Please. Talk to me. I've always been your best friend. You could always talk to me. I was there for you. Every day."

"Well, but I don't need you any longer."

He could have hit her in the face and it wouldn't have hurt as much as those eight words. Vivian had been there for him when he had changed from studying medicine to psychology and his family stopped talking to him for two long years as a result of that, she had been there when he was working day and night to become the head of the BSHCI and she had been sitting at his bedside in the hospital when Abel Gideon had attacked and almost killed him. The only times she hadn't been there for him was when she had to take care of three-year-old Freddy.

They had known each other since High School. He had been the intelligent nerd without any social skills and a stuttering problem like in the _Kings Speech_ and she the quirky artist á la _She's all that_. They had been each other's ''friend date'' for prom. But it had taken them about another 10 years until he had been brave enough to ask her out for real.

"But your son needs you! He doesn't understand what he did wrong to deserve the way you treat him … and I need you", she whispered and a tear ran down her cheek. She turned away before he could say anything else that would hurt her.

She took a few deep breaths in front of Freddy's door and entered as silent as a mouse. She lay down next to her son and fell asleep with him in her arms.

* * *

 

Frederick stood in the kitchen and his hands were shaking uncontrollably. Why couldn't she just take Freddy and leave him alone? That was all he wanted. He had lost his appetite and put the plate back into the fridge.

"Fuck it", he muttered and wanted to go to bed. He shuffled to his bedroom and stopped in his tracks, hand on the doorhandle. He sighed deeply and felt his throbbing headache getting worse. He was hurting, his head was trying to kill him and he was extremely tired. Over the course of the last two weeks he hadn't slept well … at all. The nurses had started to hate him after the first three days and the only thing they did without moaning was giving him his sleeping pills every evening. There was nothing on this planet he craved more than his _own_ bed but he didn't want to be close to Vivian. Maybe he should sleep on the couch in his study. Provided he could find any sleep at all.

On his way to the room at the end of the floor, he spent most of his day in, he had to pass Freddy's bedroom and his door was as always left ajar. Frederick's eye caught a glimpse of bright pink pyjama pants. He stepped closer and opened the door a bit wider. Vivian lay next to Freddy in his small bed and held him in her arms. So he could sleep in his own bed and he did.

Frederick sat on his bed and unbuttoned his shirt. The scar on his stomach, a thin white line, seemed to mock him. He couldn't hide the new scars as easily as this one. Whenever his face would reflect in a shopwindow, the screen of his laptop or the window of his car whenever he approached it he would be reminded of the worst time of his life.


	5. Eve

Eve called the next morning and wanted to know how the reunion went.

"Oh, wonderful! He wants a divorce", Vivian said sarcastically and sat down on the couch. Absentmindedly, she turned her wedding ring in her hand.

"You gotta be kidding me. You are the perfect couple. Perfect couples don't do divorces."

"There's no such thing as a perfect couple, Eve."

"Do you want me to come over to kick his butt?"

Vivian cracked a smile.

"If you want to. I'm having an appointment this afternoon. You can kick whatever you like when I'm not here."

Eve was silent for a moment.

"What about Freddy?"

"He's sad and he thinks it's his fault that Frederick behaves like a total stranger towards him."

"And what does Frederick do?"

"Giving you even more reason to kick his butt. He's not doing anything."

Vivian leaned back and closed her eyes. Last night she hadn't slept well. Freddy's bed wasn't made for adults.

"Is Frederick working today?"

"He's in his study or at least I think he is", she murmured and looked over to the stairs. She hadn't seen him today. Was he even there? Maybe he was already consulting his lawyer about the divorce papers. Well she would receive a letter sooner or later or maybe he would even be kind enough to talk to her again.

"Okay I go and search my spikiest shoes for the biggest impact and wish you a nice appointment today."

She snickered halfheartedly. "Thanks."

 

* * *

 

Vivian sat in the waiting room of her gynaecologist and waited for her appointment. The receptionist had just lead her to the doctor's office room when suddenly her phone rang.

Freddy's Preschool teacher called her because her son wasn't feeling well and that he wanted to go home.

"I'm sorry I can't pick him up now." She thought for a moment and looked at her watch. Eve was very likely still at work right now so she couldn't jump in for her. She sighed. Maybe Frederick could help her. She apologised to her doctor and called her husband.

"What?", he growled into his phone.

"Freddy isn't feeling well and the Preschool just called me because he wants to go home. I can't pick him up. Could you do that, please?"

She bit her lip as she waited for an answer. Frederick murmured something, she heard him shoveling through some papers and finally agreed.

"Mrs. Chilton I have other patients too. Please."

Vivian apologised again and put her phone back into her handbag.

"I have the results of your blood test and now we have it on paper. Congratulations, you're pregnant."

She had expected it and on every other day she would beam with joy but with a brain-washed husband at home who behaved like a total stranger, she was rather worried.

She had to think. Alone. Vivian thanked her doctor and left the doctor's office in a trance.

 

* * *

 

 At the same time Eve parked in front of her sister's house and searched for the spare key in her giant handbag in form of a pineapple. She was just about to leave her car when her phone rang, somewhere deep in the abyss of that very same handbag.

"Walker?"

"Eve, I need to speak with you", she heard her sister say.

"What's wrong?"

She was worried. Eve could swear she heard her sister was crying.

"Don't kick Frederick's butt. Just come home and leave him alone."

"Ehm, why? I'm right in front of your house."

In that exact moment Frederick's car pulled into the driveway. He parked, helped his son out of his car and disappeared with him inside the house.

"Didn't you say he's ignoring Freddy? He just came home with him. Wait, shouldn't he be in Preschool now?"

"He didn't feel well. I had to ask him to pick him up", Vivian sniffled, "Eve, I really need to talk to you."

"Then talk."

"I'm in front of your apartment. Come home, please."

Half an hour later she was home and found her sister standing in front of her apartment door. She was crying, definitely crying. The smudged mascara around her eyes was hint enough.

"What ever kind of appointment that was you shouldn't go there again." She was happy to see a small smile appear on Vivian's face.

"Wanna have a cup of coffee or is this more of a vodka situation?"

"Neither, although this is defin **i** tely a vodka situation. I'm pregnant, Eve."

Eve's eyebrows shot up and her mouth formed a silent 'Oh'.

"I would say congrats but you shouldn't congratulate a crying woman. Let's get in. Maybe I have something ''Mommy-friendly'' hidden in one of my kitchen cabinets."

Five minutes later the sisters slumped onto Eve's yellow sofa with a cup of hot chocolate each in their hands and drank silently next to each other for a couple of minutes.

"How far are you?"

"About 11 weeks in."

"And do you want the baby?", she asked carefully. "I'm sure Freddy would be happy about a little brother or a sister."

"And I would be happy about a second baby, too, but I'm not so sure about Frederick."

Eve huffed and nipped on her cup.

"He's out of his mind at the moment. No wonder after what he's been through."

"He's not been like that the last time", Vivian murmured, "quite the contrary. After the first attack he had nightmares and panic attacks but he always talked to me and sought closeness to me and Freddy. Now he's pushing us away over and over again."

"Maybe he has his reasons."  
Vivian looked at her sister and raised her eyebrows.

"And what kind of reasons could that be?", she growled. Vivian could feel her heart beat faster. What fucking reasons could there be that Frederick thought it reasonable to push away his son? Eve held up her hands as if to say 'Don't shoot me'.

"I'm not trying to defend him or justify his stupid behaviour. I'm just saying."  
"But whenever I try to talk to him he gives me the cold shoulder or threatens me with a divorce."

"Bullshit! Tell him that's all giant bullshit and demand an answer!"

"It always sounds so easy when you say things like that. But it's not that easy. I can't force him to talk to me, Eve."

"Well certainly not when you're sitting here on my couch."

Eve snapped her sister's cup and shooed her out of her apartment. "Go and force him to talk to you. You can't let the perfect couple end like that!"


	6. Dinner

Frederick had left the door of his study open in case Freddy needed something or had a nightmare. He really couldn't see why the boy wanted to come home from Preschool. He was perfectly fine. Yet being the psychiatrist that he was, Frederick was first to acknowledge that stress and sadness could hurt just as much as a dog's bite or a broken leg. He had had his fair share of that in his life, especially over the last two years.

He had made Freddy a quick and easy lunch and put him to bed. That was about two hours ago and he started to wonder what was taking Vivian so long. Finally, Frederick heard Vivian's key turn in the lock and her steps on the stairs. Through his half-opened door he could see her peek into Freddy's room. Frederick watched her from his desk and kneaded his ice-cold hands. Why couldn't she just leave him and take the boy with her?

Vivian closed Freddy's door as silently as possible and turned towards her husband's study.

"Do you want dinner?«, she whispered and looked at him with her big blue eyes.

"Already forgotten what I said yesterday? I don't want to eat dinner with you."

"I never said anything about eating **with** me", she sighed deeply and turned around.

 _You can't let the perfect couple end like this._ Why on earth did Eve always have such an annoying voice whenever she said something important.

"So, do you want dinner, Frederick?"

She waited for an answer, no matter if unfriendly or not, but he remained silent. Instead, he closed the door behind him and walked past her down the hall. Frederick had finally left his study to do something with her! Even if he would just stare at her while she was doing all the work. At least he was with her. Vivian couldn't conceal her smile and followed him down to the kitchen. He stood in front of the fridge and pursed his lips.

"And what would you make for dinner?"

"Well, what do you want?"

A whole lot of alcohol, he thought but rejected this thought.

"I don't care", he growled and sat down on one of the bar stools at the kitchen isle. He had taken off the bandages around his face and had replaced them with a smaller patch right above the scar.

It wasn't new to her that Frederick couldn't decide for what he wanted to eat. A trait Freddy seemed to have picked up. Vivian gathered together everything she needed for a quick meal with rice and breaded aubergine.

"Would you please cut the aubergine?«, she asked without thinking about it. It all felt so normal again, like the last month didn't happen. He growled something but reached for a knife and the aubergine Vivian offered him. They were working silently together for a few minutes and she relished those minutes like the first time they kissed. It was wonderful, yet, the air was drizzling with electricity between them. She wanted to talk to him, tell him about her pregnancy, but she was afraid of saying something wrong that would make him leave her once again.

"Mommy?"

Vivian turned around and saw Freddy with his teddy bear standing in the door frame staring at his father, who was glaring at him.

"Shouldn't you be in bed?«, Frederick snarled. The little boy's eyes grew even bigger and he made two steps back, hoping his mother would help him. Vivian looked back and forth between him and Frederick. She walked over to her son, positioning herself between him and his father and smiled at him.

"Are you hungry, Freddy?"

The boy nodded and walked around the kitchen isle, Vivian just one step behind him. She helped him sit on one of the bar stools. He cuddled his teddy bear tightly and tried not to look over to his father who was cutting the aubergine into thin slices. Whenever he looked up, Freddy turned his head away quickly, not daring to meet his father's eyes.

Vivian prepared the first two little sliced of breaded aubergine for Freddy so he could go back to bed as soon as possible. It was clear that he was afraid of his father. Vivians chest clenched when she thought about that. Children should never be afraid of their parents.

Freddy wasn't very hungry and so he was done fairly quickly with his dinner.

"Let's get you to bed", Frederick said standing up. Vivian was so happy seeing him acting like the father he was before all this Miriam-Lass-catastrophy happened but Freddy suddenly hid behind her and shook his head violently.

Something in Frederick's face changed. She could see that Freddy's reaction hurt him deep inside. He said nothing. His jaw was working like it did when he fought to keep the words from leaving his mouth. Words that were meant to hurt, Vivian was sure.

But Frederick simply took his plate and shut himself away in his study again. This wasn't what she had wanted but she couldn't blame Freddy for being scared of the man that looked like his father but wasn't anymore.

She sighed and picked Freddy up. She hadn't carried him around since he was three but it seemed like an appropirate reaction. Vivian brought him to bed and wanted to leave him to sleep. Freddy grasped her hand not wanting her to go. Vivian couldn't leave him. Not now that he was losing his father.

She lay next to him and held her son save in her arms.


	7. Keep them away to keep them save

Vivian listened to her son's deep breathing and watched him sleep. He snuggled into her tender embrace even more. She would have to buy him a larger bed if she was going to spent most of her nights cuddling with him from now on.

She was almost asleep herself when she suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder.

"I want to speak with you", Frederick's voice growled in the dark room. He left his son's bedroom as silently as he had entered it and waited in the kitchen for his wife. He had waited the whole day for an opportunity to talk to her alone. He heard her naked feet on the hard wood floor and a moment later she appeared in front of him.

"It's late Frederick and I'm really tired", she whined and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Is there anything you want to tell me?"

"You wanted to speak with me not the other way around."

He glared at her dangerously and leaned against the counter. She looked tired and sad. She could stop all that by simply leaving him. Frederick was tired himself and his pain killers didn't work as good as they should be.

"I know it", he finally said, now not daring to look her in the eye.

"What exactly?" She stepped closer and furrowed her brow.

"I know you're pregnant. You didn't hang up properly when you were at the doctor's."

Her heart skipped a beat. His face was still nothing more than an emotionless mask, cold and vacuous. They had talked about a second child a few months ago without really coming to an answer whether they really wanted another. In fact they had argued. Frederick didn't like his brother. He actually hated him pretty much for being the lazy asshole and lying alcoholic he was, constantly going into rehab, getting out of rehab, drinking again and going back to rehab. But Vivian loved her little sister to death and couldn't imagine living in this world without her.

She tried to see anything in his face that would give her a hint how he felt and what he was thinking but there was nothing. Frederick was like a blank sheet of paper.

"And you still want a divorce?"

His head was killing him. This was not what he had wanted, not at all. His whole life was turning upside down and he couldn't find one solid thing to get a hold on. Frederick pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. What would he give for a glass of Scotch? But as a doctor he knew that alcohol and pills didn't really go too well together. His feckless brother was the living proof for that.

"Yes, I want you to leave me", he answered low.

"Why? And why don't you just leave me if that's really what you want?" Her voice cracked. She didn't want to talk about the end of her marriage any more. "I'm going to bed, Frederick. I'm not talking to you about that any longer. Leave me if you want to."

Vivian turned to go away before she could cry in front of him.

"I never said I wanted to leave you."

"No!" She spun around again, tears glistening in her eyes, body shaking with silent sobs. »You want me to leave you without giving me an actual reason!«

"Why don't you understand that I simply don't want you or … our children to get hurt!", he shouted and glared at her. Now that he had started, he couldn't help but let out everything that had been bothering him ever since the incident with Gideon. "I'm a target! Over the last two years I've almost been killed twice and it's only a matter of time until my family gets targeted by psychopaths and sick murderers as well. I was able to keep you and Freddy a secret until now, I never mentioned you with a single syllable at work. Not even my secretary knows I'm married! I'm not wearing my fucking wedding ring outside these four walls. Is it so unintelligible that I don't want to come home one day to see you slaughtered and gutted in our living room and Freddy in a puddle of blood on the floor next to you?!"

Tears were streaming down his face as he finally told her what laid so heavily on his chest and threatened to crush him under its weight. Within three long strides Vivian was right in front of him and pulled him into a tender hug. His arms knew what they had to do, without his brain giving them a single command. He pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her. Their hearts separated by only flesh and bone, beating in unison.

"I've been waiting for this for more than two weeks", she whispered and stroked his hair and back. He nuzzled into her neck, breathed against her skin like he used to do so many times before. His body was shaking with deep sobs and he clutched her tightly against his chest. He was drowning in her scent. She was the one he loved and he never wanted to lose her. Vivian had been right yesterday. She was his best friend and the one he could always count on no matter what, the one he had a family with, even a second child on the way.

A divorce seemed an idiotic idea in front of this background but he'd rather keep his family away from him to keep them save than having them around him and endangering them.

"I don't want to lose you, Frederick. Please don't push us away."

He could hear her voice cracking.

"I have to."  
Vivian let go of him and looked him deep into his big green eyes. She held his face in her hands and stroked his unharmed cheek with her thumb.

"No, you don't. We're a family and we'll stay one."

"Freddy is afraid of me«, he breathed, a lump forming in his throat, "I look like Frankenstein's monster. And when he's done with High School I'll be nothing more than a head or I'll be dead."

He let go of her and made a step back, leaning against the kitchen counter again. Vivian looked at him for what felt like an eternity.

"Why now?" She came closer reaching for his shaking hand. "Why do you worry now? You didn't want me to leave you when Abel Gideon attacked you."

He drew back his hand, flexing it over and over again. He didn't want to talk about this but he had to.

"Attack me once, shame on you; attack me twice, shame on me. I don't want to find out what number three brings, Vivy. Save yourself, save our children. I'll pay for everything, a house, a new car, college … whatever. You won't have to worry about anything."

He ran a hand through his face and hair.

"Except you." A tear ran down her cheek. "One day I'll open the newspaper and read about your death? How should I explain the baby why it's never had the chance to get to know you?"

She wanted to say more but her voice quit its service. She covered her mouth to muffle her loud sob. Frederick reached for her within a blink of an eye and drew her closer. He never wanted to see her cry.

"Please, don't do this to us", she cried against his chest, dampening his dress shirt with her tears. He hugged her and held her tight until she stopped trembling. Frederick kissed her on the crown of her head and breathed in her scent once again. How could he be so stupid to think he could live without her? The two weeks alone in the hospital without her or Freddy had been pure torture for him. He had missed his family so much. His only visitor during that time had been Agent Crawford who had tried to explain to him what had happened in the interrogation room. He hadn't even apologised for destroying his professional reputation and almost his entire life by accusing him, an evident **vegan** , of cannibalism. Idiot!

"I'm not", Frederick whispered into her ear and heard her whimper. She snaked her arms around his middle and leaned fully against him.

Was this for real? Did she finally have her husband back?

"I guess I need to apologise to Freddy."  
Vivian nodded and let go of him. Frederick brushed her tears away and kissed her forehead.

They climbed the stairs and he took a few deep breaths in front of Freddy's bedroom door. Vivian squeezed his shoulder reassuringly and gave him a warm smile.


	8. Freddy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final part and I can't thank my beta enough for all her support and patience with me. You are the best and I don't know how to repay you for your time. You are my best friend!

When Frederick opened the door and switched the light on, Freddy was already sitting upright in his bed.

"Where's Mommy?", he asked frightened and watched his father approach and sit on his mattress.

"She's waiting outside … I want to talk to you."

The little boy looked over to the open door. Vivian stood next to it to make sure Freddy couldn't see her while she was still able to hear everything being said inside the room.

"Do you want her to come in?"

Freddy thought for a moment – you could see the wheels turning in his head – and said no. Frederick sat cross-legged next to his son and searched for the right words.

"I'm sorry, Daddy, I didn't do it on purpose", the boy mumbled and pressed his teddy against his chest.

"What are you talking about, Freddy?"

"I didn't want to smash the glass", he sniffled and hugged his fluffy toy even tighter. Tears burned in his big green eyes. Frederick felt a lump forming in his throat. Freddy suffered incredibly under his recent behaviour and especially in the last two days. He had been so self-centered that he had totally forgotten how sensitive his son was. Frederick heard a little sob and locked him in his arms only a second later.

"I'm not mad at you. You did nothing wrong. You hear me? Nothing. If anybody did something wrong, it's me, Freddy." His voice cracked and he suddenly felt his son move in his arms. The boy stood up on his bed, put his teddy bear aside and hugged his father as if to comfort him.

Vivian had moved to stand in the door frame and watched the scene from afar. Frederick hugged his son and saw her movement in the corner of his eye. Again, tears were streaming down her face but this time tears of pure happiness. It really looked like she had her husband back and Freddy his father.

Frederick held out his hand in her direction and waited for her to come closer. Once in reach he pulled her closer and the three of them hugged each other silently until Freddy fell asleep in his parents' arms.

"I think we should leave him to sleep", she whispered and put a blanket over Freddy.

They sneaked out of his room and left the door ajar.

In their bedroom Frederick snaked his arms around her from behind and nuzzled into her neck. Vivian leaned against him and closed her eyes. She was completely content in this moment, but she needed to hear it from him. »So you won't try to freeze us out any longer?«

She could feel him shake his head and squeezing her tightly.

"Never."

Vivian turned in his arms to look him into the eyes, running her hands through his silky hair.

"And what about the baby?"

He furrowed his brow. "What about it?"

"You want it too?"

A tiny smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. He leaned in closer, bringing his lips down to hers. Before kissing her, he breathed: "Of course, I love you and I love _our_ children."

Vivian smiled. This was her husband again, the man she loved and the father of her children. He kissed her, first gently but then deeper and deeper with every second, showing her how much he loved her, apologising for every mean word and withering look she had to endure in the last few weeks.

When they finally parted they were panting against each other's lips. He leaned his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. Frederick's wonderful large hand wandered over her curves and stroked down her belly, stopping right above the spot where the baby was.

"I will do whatever I can to keep you save from whatever harm there might be. I promise", he whispered. She knew he was talking to the baby now and she knew he would keep his promise.


End file.
